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Seriously Flawed Moral Decisions By Movie Superheroes. What is going to happen when the news breaks to the rest of the galaxy? The premier interstellar police force just let a crew of violent criminals go. And sure, they saved a planet, but they did it with a weapon of cosmic mass destruction they had themselves been smuggling. There wasn't even a trial or a psych evaluation, and they left with no real reassurance that they'd stop slaughtering people. Marvel Studios"That's it! Time out for five minutes!"In fact, before the Guardians fly away, their raccoon makes it clear he thinks robbery is a virtue.
And their Drax shows he obviously has no idea murder is wrong. Gamora's situation is even worse because one of the crimes she is pardoned for is actual freaking genocide. You see, Gamora is the adopted daughter of Thanos, the Conqueror Of A Decade's Worth Of Post- Credit Scenes. Along with her sister, Nebula, Gamora committed atrocities in the name of her corduroy- chinned father, up to and including wiping out entire races.
When she enters prison with the rest of the Guardians, almost every single inmate wants her dead because of her bloody trail of murder. So say you're some space guy in the galaxy and you hear they pardoned the masterminds of a prison riot that, let's not be coy, got hundreds sexually violated and/or killed. They're the same people who gave a planet- melting gem to the worst guy in the universe, and have collectively killed too many sentient people to count. Would it really matter to you if they helped defend space police headquarters or that they have fun dance- alongs to classic pop hits from Earth? Who is running the damned Nova Corps payroll board? Marvel Studios"You've eaten 5. I guess what we're saying is: Here's a bus ticket and a space baby fork!
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You're free!"Stephan infrequently tweets over at @Stephan. Roget, where he's mostly chuffed he didn't need to use an underscore or anything. Nathan is a Christian and is positive that "letting murderers run free" is NOT what Jesus meant by forgiveness. Check out Nathan's hilarious website here. DO IT. Join Jack O'Brien and Cracked staffers Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt, Michael Swaim, plus comedian Blake Wexler for a retelling of history's biggest moments you didn't realize everyone was drunk for.
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