Having sex with your wife while she's sleeping. I have been waking up to my husband trying to have sex or get himself off while I’m asleep for a couple years now. We have a toddler together and I’ve had history of sexual abuse before meeting him. I’m not in a place of “is it wrong?” I’m to the point where “it’s wrong!” It all comes down to the intention in my opinion.

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Is he doing it because he’s sexually frustrated?•Or because he thinks you’ll be into it?• (I don’t believe in the whole “is he awake” thing. I find that to be complete bullshit.)• Does he admit to it in the morning? If yes… While I still wouldn’t be okay, with those intentions, I think a lot of women would be okay with them. Intentions I don’t think are okay for anyone: •Does he stop what he’s doing when you make a movement?•Does he try to take your clothes off in the slightest way to not wake you up?•If you turn away suddenly to show you are annoyed by the touching, does he wait for you to fall back asleep to proceed?•If you sleep in a different room or on the couch does he still try in a different area?•If you start crying or flinching, does he keep going?•Does he deny anything ever happening?•If you ask him to stop, or tell him how violated you feel, does he continue to violate you (maybe in a different way, or even just stops for a period of time and then starts again.)•Has he conveyed a ‘rape fantasy’s to you?•Does he watch porn of things like “drunk girl passed out” or “while she’s sleeping” or “rape” (acted or not) If yes, these things are a bigger problem than you think. The bad side of intentions is what I’m dealing with. It all started when I had surgery to get my gulbladder removed.

Just to give a little backstory on our sex life, we had an intense one. In fact, he couldn’t keep up with me in the bed. It’s ironic because he turned me down so many times because I wanted to do it so much. As hurtful and sucky as that was (yes!!!!!

Women get blue balls too!!! It’s a deep throbbing pain.) I never ever complained to him or made him feel guilty for not pleasing me.

I never crawled on top of him and made him do anything. The worst I have ever done to this man in that sense, is asking him to finger me like three times in a row. Then we had a child. And you know what, he isn’t helpful at all with his family. He treats his son like it’s a chore and will not spend more than 1. I tried playing with him, im done.” And that’s the thing, I ask him to watch his child when I need to do chores.

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He doesn’t help. He comes home from work, jumps on video games for hours. He stays up until like 5am playing.

He comes to bed and tries to touch me, and sleeps until the very last second he has to leave for work. I’m so exhausted, the house is always a mess because I simply can’t keep up. The mess I find in the morning from my husband is disgusting. And YES. I am MAD.

I am fed up. I would be less fed up if he didn’t treat me like a sex doll at night. A couple of years ago I needed my gallbladder removed. It was a very extreme case and I ended up getting acute pancreatitis. I was in the hospital for over a week. In the middle of that time I get a very upset phone call from him in the middle of the night. He says he’s found this video of me online.

I was passed out and a black dude was raping “me” in the mouth. I assured him it couldn’t be me and told him to show me the video the next day.

It couldn’t have been me because I was violated only at a very young age… Old enough to remember. And on top of that, I was very smart in my teenage years. I never ever put myself in a position to be violated like that. I mostly smoked weed and I’ve never been to a bar. He comes the next day and shows me the video. And this girl literally looks NOTHING like me. The only thing we had in common was hair color.

She had moles on her face, I mean it was obvious it wasn’t me. I made him stop the video because it was really gross. And I felt terrible for that girl- whoever she was, because it was obvious that it wasn’t being acted out. This video made me sick to my stomach. For a couple months my husband can’t stop watching this video because he is so sure it’s me. I even showed my mom the video to get her opinion and she agreed with me. I felt like he knew it wasn’t me and I couldn’t understand why he was trying to make me believe it was.

I still don’t understand that. Eventually he admits that there’s no way it could be me. After that, one day, he asks me (since I’m so exhausted all the time) if it’s ok if he masterbates next to me while I’m asleep. I didn’t put the video and this together at all. But I say as long as he doesn’t get it on me, or touch me and wake me up.

Months later, I woke up one morning with semen on me. I was horrified by it because it was in my clothing. My clothing had to be taken off, and then put back on for it to be possible. For that to happen and me not wake up was truly a nightmare to me. Like, anyone could come in my room at night and do this.

I asked him and he just laughed like it was a joke. He admitted it. He had taken off my pants and rubbed against my butt until he came. He actually even said he googled “how to have sex with a woman without waking her up”. I didn’t tell him how brutal that was to me. I felt like it was a one time thing the way he laughed, and he had also been making me feel guilty for months for not wanting to do it as often.

He made me feel like shit about it. He still does to this day and I don’t know how I can when I know what bullshit it is, but he makes me feel horrible about it. He knew that I didn’t like what happened, but he didn’t know the extent of how horrified I was by it.

I mean, I’ve been sexually abused. I grew up on the pretenses of sexuality being warped.

I guess that’s why I always feel like something is wrong with me. I would’ve reacted differently if this were a boyfriend doing this. Full Episode Of Dancing With The Stars Season 16.

I probably would’ve broken up with my husband instantly if he had done this before we were married. Your husband is the one partner. Like your ride or die. It takes a lot for me to react in a horrific way with him. It’s not black and white.

He does the touching thing almost every night now and I know he wants me to not know about it. He’s very turned on when I’m asleep, but not as turned on if I’m awake. It’s actually made me feel ugly like he doesn’t want to look at me. I’d wake up to him some nights just touching my pelvic area, and I’d turn over to get away, but he’d try again. Watch New York Online Facebook'>Watch New York Online Facebook. Watch Deathtrap Youtube here. He never ever gave up.

One night I decided I’d just go limp like I was dead to see what he would do. But also to make himself see how f**ked up he was being. I wanted him to feel what real rape was like, and if he liked that it was over.

If he stopped then we could work it out. I didn’t know how else to get him to understand how much it was degrading me. He liked it more when I was asleep than when I was awake. This wasn’t like he was just frustrated with no sex, he WANTED me to be asleep. I went limp. Kept my eyes shut. I didn’t flinch, which was hard for me. I didn’t give any reactions.

I didn’t breathe differently. And I certainly didn’t get wet.

At one point I think he tried to wake me up, by the way he pulled my clothes off… So I would stop him, but it didn’t “work”. He went through with it. It changed the way I ever viewed him as a man.

The man that I loved who always was so sweet opening doors for me. Called me beautiful every day. All the nice things he did were gone after the surgery happened. I wonder if he found that one video hot thinking it was me… it’s hard to believe that but I just don’t know anymore.

And he went through with having sex with me. I’m not telling you that this was rape- because it wasn’t rape. I let him do it. I wanted to see if he could do it. It wasn’t rape. He had violated me before, but this wasn’t rape. It was very hurtful still.

He got off real quick because I guess that’s what he likes. He likes passed out drunk girls. When he was done he left my pants off and left his mess. He just layed down and fell asleep like a baby.